Clair de Lune
by Jessieness
Summary: ONE-SHOT! Chapter 11 of a story I started awhile ago...Suze goes back in time to try and save Jesse's life. The trouble is, after she does so, she has a hard time leaving it. Named after the song by Claude Debussy. (Translation: Moonlight Serenade)


Hey Babes!

So... the first week of school is over!

Well, lemme tell ya. It was hell. I only got 7 hours of sleep every night. My first class starts at 7:30, and I don't get a lunch.

So read this. Review this. I ditched homework for this!

Oh yeah...about the story. This was part of another peice I started, but I stopped to write Sweet Misery. In this chapter, Suze has already saved Jesse's life, and given him another chance. Meaning, she has fulfilled her duty, and now she has to leave.

The title is named after the song by the French composer Claude Debussy. Really nice to listen to while reading this.

So... here goes.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I don't own the song.

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**Clair de Lune**

The balcony of the de Silva mansion was graced with most beautiful view I had ever seen. It overlooked all of Carmel and, accompanied with the serene moonlight, drifted lazily over the bright red dome of mission basilica, the rolling foothills and lastly, the ocean, the waves rolling back and forth in the bay.

But unfortunately, as I was standing there on that balcony, my thoughts were not entirely focused on the view. Instead I was thinking on things much more immediate.

Tonight, I had decided, was the night. Tonight I was leaving. Tonight I would say goodbye. I just couldn't do it, seeing Jesse here, with his own family. How could I have thought that I could take him away from this? All of this? His friends, his family. His life. The one he was meant to live. With or without me.

A gust of wind blew against my dress, and I shivered. Inside the house, the guests were still in the ballroom, dancing to a lively waltz, saluting their cups to Isadora and Alejandro, the happy bride and groom. What's so happy about an arranged marriage, I guess I'll never know.

My thoughts were interrupted by a distinctly masculine voice behind me, "Senorita? Oh, Susannah, I thought it was you."

I turned around. It was Jesse. He was dressed in what most likely was eighteenth century formal wear, looking as hot as ever in a similar pair of tight black pants, and a very frilly white shirt, complete with a cravat. My heart in my throat, I said, "Yeah, it's me. Hi." Even in the eighteenth century, I wasn't very articulate with words.

Jesse just looked at me. I could feel his gaze boring into me, his eyes never leaving the scar on my wrist. The place where Paul had cut me.

I lifted my gaze to meet his, glancing for a moment into his expressionless eyes. There it was, that look again. You know, the ones I can never read. The look that seemed almost reserved for me. "What are you doing out here," he wanted to know, "on such a chilly night? Come in, join the party."

I averted his gaze, turning my head back towards the balcony. I didn't want him to see me cry. If I surrendered to one moment of weakness it would be all over. "I was just thinking, is all."

A blast of wind hit me, blowing the ruffles on my dress aside. I couldn't help but shudder. Jesse said, "Come in, out from the cold."

I shook my head, my hair hitting my face and sticking to my tears. Again I looked down, hoping he wouldn't notice.

Jesse sighed. I heard footsteps behind me, and I saw that he had gone inside.

I stood there on my toes, rubbing my hands up and down my bare arms, trying to warm them from the chill of the Carmel weather. The night was clear, no fog, so that the layer of winking stars shone brightly in contrast to the night sky.

I guess I should've been happy, I'd accomplished what I set out to do. Jesse was free to live his own life now, to grow old, to have a family, to find love.

So why was it that I could'nt avoid this horrible feeling that came to mind as I stood there on that balcony? And why couldn't I help shuddering as, in my mind's eye, my heart was pulled out, and thrown against the brick wall, leaving a trail of blood as it oozed into the trashcan? Because of those words, so simple, and yet not. Love, without me.

Suddenly, so suddenly that I like jumped, five feet in the air, I felt a layer of cloth around me, this time, for real. I turned around. Jesse was draping a wool blanket around me. "If you choose to stay out here in the cold," he said, smiling, "then I have no choice but to stay here with you." He pulled the blanket tighter, and my skin tingled as his hand brushed my shoulder. "There, how's that _querida_?"

I turned around brusquely. My gaze met his. He was blushing, clearly furious with himself for letting the word slip from his lips.

And then, all of a sudden he wasn't blushing anymore when he took a step towards me, and took my face in his hands. "Querida," whispered, a little smile playing on his lips.

I clutched the blanket tighter—my heart pounding so loudly in my chest I was sure he could hear it—and pulled away. "I'm leaving." I said, perhaps a little louder than was neccesary. Jesse took his hand away, all traces of a smile gone from his face. "When?" he said, his voice indifferent.

And I might've been a little hurt by that. Okay, a lot.

So I said, in what I like to think was an equally indifferent voice, "Tonight, after the celebration."

I looked at him, his face a blank page. He ran a hand through his hair. "Are you coming back?" he asked.

And there it was. THe one promise I wouldn't be able to keep that night.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to."

Jesse was silent as I awaited his reaction. Would he miss me? "Why?" he asked, his voice soft, wounded.

"I need to go back," I said, by way of explanation, "I've stayed in Carmel too long, I need to go back to San Francisco...I need to see my family."

Jesse said nothing. He stood with me as we both watched the full moon, unnaturally bright, like a 500-watt bulb. And then unexpectedly grabbed my hand, pulling me with him as he walked back into the ballroom. "Where are we going?" I hissed, glancing, warily at the guests all around us. No one looked at us. No one said anything; they were all too busy dancing.

"Just come with me, Susannah," his voice commanding, urgent, "I have something I need to say to you."

He took me to a garden, just beyond the house. Strangely enough; it was one I had not visited before, Belinda had taken to the time to show me every part of the house. Except for this one. Maybe it was private. It certainly was beautiful.

It was filled with all sorts of flowers, roses, carnations, and baby's breath. But its beauty was hidden in the center of the garden, surrounded by hibiscus plants.

In the middle was a tiny fountain, with water bubbling out of a little cupid's mouth, it's arrow raised upwards, pointed towards the sky.

Jesse sat down on the edge of the fountain, and bade me to sit next to him. I did so, ruffling my dress very badly along the way.

No one said anything. I was still smoothing the ends of my dress when he took my hands and held them so very gently with his own.

I caught my breath. It was like déjà vu. This moment had happened before, yet so many years later. Time travel is messed up, ya know?

"Susannah..." he said, his eyes boring into mine, his voice soft, gentle, pleading. But the moment was kinda shattered when all of a sudden, he dropped my hands, and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

I mean, what the heck was that? Peeved, I asked, "What?" in a pretty rude voice. "I mean, are you gonna tell me, or are we gonna sit here all night?"

Jesse ignored me. His head was turned upwards, I could only assume he was looking at the moon again.

"Why do you have to leave?" he said suddenly, his voice was accusing, like when my mom and dad went out to dinner by themselves, and left me with a babysitter.

Gee, I never thought Jesse was the baby-ing type. But he proved me wrong when he asked again, in a frustrated voice, "Why?"

"I told you," I said, a bite of frustration in my voice as well, "I need to go back to my family, my dad's sick, he needs me." Of course, this wasn't true, but what else was I supposed to say?

Jesse said something under his breath. It was so very faint I almost couldn't hear it. But I'm pretty sure he muttered, "I need you."

This caused my stomach to flip over, and tugged very hard at my heartstrings. Did he mean that? Did he even say that?

"What?" I asked.

Jesse shook his head. "What?" he said innocently, "I didn't say anything."

Oh. Okay then.

I guess.

I stood up. "Well," I said, trying not to let the disappointment, or the anger, slip into my voice, "if there's nothing you need to say to me, I'm going to go and gather my stuff. A friend is picking me up later this evening."

Jesse stood up too. "Susannah—"

"Goodbye, Jesse." And I attempted to walk away in a huff.

Except that Jesse reached out and grabbed my wrist, the one with the three-inch scar. I winched. He let go as if my skin had begun to blister. "Susannah..." he whispered. His voice was deep, silky, soft like the wind. It is very hard to say no to that voice.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, I turned around. "What?" I snapped, my hands on my hips.

He looked at me, his eyes bright. Jeez, stop staring already, you're making me blush. Just like before, he took another step toward me, and cupped my face in his hands. Then he sat down on the rim of the fountain, pulling me with him.

My heart started beating very fast, but I wasn't focused on that just then. I was trying to remember how to breathe.

Jesse lifted my chin up, and turned my face towards his. I swallowed. I could feel the heat from his fingers coursing through me. He was so warm.

And he was so very close now; I could see every detail on his face, the tiny scar on his eyebrow, his lashes that were longer than mine.

And that's when he kissed me. Our first kiss, in this lifetime at least...

It was so gentle, soft, his lips on mine, as if asking my permission. And of course I responded, with equal steadiness. He kissed back harder, and soon, his arm was around my waist, pulling me close to him, so that our bodies were clashed together, perfectly fit, like pieces of a puzzle.

The only problem, of course, was that we were sitting at the side of the fountain, so that when we started getting, dare I say, a bit more passionate, I leaned forwards, tilting our bodies into a horizontal position, causing us to lose our balance...

...and plummet into the water.

"Oh my gosh!" I shrieked, "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry Jesse." I was too embarrassed to look at him, I could feel my cheeks heating up.

Jesse chuckled, a sound that brought familiar shivers up and down my spine. "Querida..." he murmured, kissing me softly on the forehead.

Then, my cheek, and then, the other. And finally, he captured my lips with his own.

And the feeling it brought was indescribable. Like, we were the only two people in the world. Like, nothing else mattered except for this kiss. Like something terrible was going to happen if we broke away. If, God forbid, we stopped kissing.

And it didn't even matter that we were both sopping wet; or that my hands stuck to his shirt when I ran them down his back. That my hair was getting tangled as he played with it. Or that Rosetta's emerald green dress was now damaged beyond repair.

I don't know how long we were out there, soaking wet and still in the fountain, kissing under the moonlight.

I only know that, by the time we broke apart, the thought of me leaving was completely driven out of my mind.

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A/N: So...wadduya think of it? 

Sorta cheesy huh?

Oh wells...suck it up. Imma cheese machine!

I mean, I...NO.

Never mind. I gotta sleep. Anyone seen Uptown Girls? Dakota Fanning, she's all; "8 hours Mom, I need 8 hours or my immune system crashes."

REVIEW!

Now I'm gonna go and crash.


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